Special visitors

So, the past 5 days have been hectic, interesting, restful, boring, lonely and everything else!

Mum and dad flew down from QLD on Saturday afternoon and my brother also flew up from Tassie to visit us (well mainly Bella!)

They took her on Saturday night and she stayed at their apartment until Wednesday afternoon. I got to see her every day and spend time with her, mum and dad and my brother. But she slept there every night and had an absolute ball. She even slept in longer than she does at home! They must have tired her out!

They were on the go with her for the 5 days doing all sorts of stuff :) Bella learnt a new dance/song too! Poppy taught her the Hokey Pokey! She also acquired a new pair of slippers off mum (they are mums, but Bella wouldn't  put them down!)

My brother flew out on Monday night and mum and dad have just left for the airport. I’m pretty sure they had the time of their lives!

I had a lot of time on my hands when mum and dad had Bella! I thought I was going to get so much done, but ended up feeling quite lost and lonely without Bella here! I did get some study done and the house never looked so tidy though!

So, life is now going to get back to normal. I’m looking forward to it, but I will miss mum and dad.

Starting from scratch

No idea why I just remembered this, but the other week I had great joy in making my own butter!

We had some leftover cream from the pavlova we made and I decided to keep whipping it to turn it into butter. It was so much fun – I was like a little kid seeing something for the first time!

After the cream was whipped enough, I squeezed out the buttermilk (which Abraham promptly drank!) and then popped it in the fridge.

Abraham ate it on his toast the next morning :)

It was amazing how much joy I got from such a simple task. It’s the small things I guess :)

[one day at a time]

Okay, so I have another blog. This one will remain the same, the new one is for a different purpose.

It’s time for change…

weight loss blog

Cherish every day

I have had a bad day, make that a bad week…

But as I was sitting here wallowing in self pity, I realised that what I am facing isn’t nearly as huge as what others are facing. People close to me are facing things I never wish to face.

I look and what she is going through and I see the strength in her face, I see the hope in her eyes amidst the tears. She is facing this head on, with a positive attitude and here I am complaining about my bad week.

Today is her first day of treatment. I can’t imagine what she is feeling right now. All I know is it is tougher than what I am dealing with right now.

Cherish every day. Cherish every hour. Cherish every minute.

The birth of Bella Grace

It's been 18 months and I haven't even attempted to write Bellas birth story! I am sketchy on the details (have never really been one for precise times!) and the 27 hour labour didn't help things!

 
Okay, bit of background. I was diagnosed with GD and had to attend the diabetes clinic every week until the birth. I also had to have twice weekly CTG monitoring to check on bubs . I wasn't on insulin, just monitored my diet and tested my blood sugar levels about 4 times a day. Because of that, we had a growth scan at 36 weeks to check how things were progressing and to see how big she was. It was at this scan that we found out the sex! We caved and asked the lady to tell us! Well, she told my DH and then the sonographer printed out the scan and had written girl across it and handed it to me . She told me the baby would be about 8 or 9 pounds and that everything was looking good! 

 
Fast forward to 41 weeks and my appointment with the ob. He said I was about 2 and a half centimetres dilated and things were progressing, albeit slowly! He told me he wanted to book me in for an induction on Thursday or Friday (it was Tuesday). He rang up and then told me that they were going to be too busy on Thursday and Friday, so we had to do it right now! I definitely wasn't ready for that news!

So off I went up to the Day Assessment Unit (where I went for my CTG - they knew me well!) and they put the first lot of gels in at 11am. Well, almost immediately I starting having contractions, they weren't severe, but they were definitely there! She told us we had to hang around the hospital for 2 hours and to go have some lunch and a walk. Let me tell you, trying to eat a cheese and tomato sandwich in the cafeteria when you are in so much pain isn't easy!

I could breathe through the contractions and basically talk through them (and no matter what anyone said - I couldn't laugh through them!) In the end, DH and I went home at 1pm and tried the labour thing at home. No-one told me how hard it is to labour in the car!! Was so very painful!

We got home and I immediately jumped in the shower. It helped a little, but the contractions were coming closer together. I wasn't really coping at home so at 4pm my DH rang the hospital and said they were about 3-4 mins apart. They told us to come in, so we did.

 
Was admitted to the labour ward and hooked up the CTG machine. From about 6pm until 8am is a bit of a blur! All I remember is a really really nice midwife named Sandy who sat beside my bed for ages holding my hand and telling me stories. I also remember at about midnight this really lovely male midwife came in and told me I should probably have some pethidine if I wanted to get any rest so I could have my strength to labour tomorrow. I was about 3cm by that stage. The contractions were not letting up. I had pain everywhere and even broke the bed with my thrashing about at one stage! They were basically on top of each other, the midwives told me it was because I was induced.

He gave me the pethidine and an anti-nausea med and that was it. My DH was on a trundle bed beside me trying to sleep (well as best he could with me squeezing his hand every 5 mins!) I remember sitting up in the bed and my head kept on falling down and then I would jolt awake again with each contraction. It was as if I was drugged up to the eyeballs and I had no idea what was going on! I didn't even really want the pethidine in the first place, but just went along with it because I thought that was the "right" thing to do. So from 1am until the pethidine wore off was yucky and weird to say the least!

At 8:30am they came in and broke my waters - finally! It hurt like anything, but was a welcome relief! I was about 5cm at that stage. I then decided I wanted to try the gas (so much for my no drugs plan!) After I took the first breath of gas, I never put it down! It was lovely!

So....I had been labouring now for about 17 hours. Mind you, time really had no meaning to me! All I knew was that it was painful and never ending! At one stage the midwife took 2 hour to bring me a heat pack! Apparently all the rooms were full of women labouring with more waiting in the waiting room! Things started to progress a little quicker after they broke my waters. I remember at about 2pm I started to get very very intense contractions. They had changed from very painful to me turning into a mooing cow! I kept saying "Please can you make the labour stop now!" "I don't want to do this anymore!" Apparently I was in transition.

At 2:30pm I really just wanted to push! I had such an intense feeling of needing to push - it was overwhelming! I felt the pain near my bottom the most - I just needed to push! The midwife came and in and checked me, I was 9cm dilated and they said I could push very soon! I was in agony! The male midwife came in and checked me as well and said, "No! You cant push - don't push!" I said "I cant stop, I have to!"

He told me that she was posterior and that they had to put an epidural in to stop me from pushing. I said okay and as quick as I had said that the two doctors were there to put it in. It was so incredibly hard to sit still while they put it in. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing my thighs as hard as I could to get through the contractions. It was so intense!

So, the epidural went in fine and began to take effect. After a few more contractions I felt like a new woman! I could not feel a thing (except for some tightening). I managed to eat something for the first time in over 24 hours. However, the epidural made my contractions almost disappear so they put the drip in to get my contractions going again.

By about 4pm they finally decided that I could try and push! They said that I had to push like I was doing a poo, but I couldn't feel anything down there! I pushed with a few contractions and in the end they had to give me an episiotomy. They started cutting with a pair of scissors and then said "Oh, they are blunt, can I have another pair?" and the next pair they tried, they said it again! I felt like they were chopping up a cooked chicken the way they were hacking at me!

In the end, they had to vacuum Bella out and at 5:04pm on the 24th of September 2008 after 27 hours of labour, Bella Grace was born. It was a magical moment and one that I will never forget. The midwife guessed she weighed about 7 pounds however when they weighed her she weighed 8 pounds 13 ounces! She was also 53cm long.

 
I am so glad that I had an epidural when it came to them stitching me up! I had a trainee doctor that kept saying "I cant see what I am doing because of all this blood, someone come and help me!" That made me feel really good - not!

I had 15 stitches and in the end it took me nearly 9 months to heal and even be able to pee properly! They botched it up really bad! It was horrible!

Wow, so that was it! The birth story of my firstborn daughter!

A beautiful Sunday

Today was lovely :)

Went to church this morning and felt so at home. Abraham and I had been thinking of finding a church closer to home (our church is currently 30 mins away), however we came to the conclusion that we could never leave :) It’s too much of a family; its home.

The message this morning was by Jo Brown, a missionary in Indonesia for the past 8 and a half years. She was actually Abrahams Grade 6 teacher (and remembered him!)

She spoke of her work with the Muslim people and her work in Bible Translation. She then challenged us – “Is your vision big enough?”

She spoke of running the race, of perseverance, of trusting God despite it all. She spoke of being open to what God could do in your life and the things that are holding you back.

Somehow, her slide show of images from Indonesia struck a chord in my heart. If any of you know me, I have studied Indonesian since Primary school right up to University level. I have let my speaking lapse a little, but its still there somewhere! I dreamt that I could work among these people as a translator. I dreamt that my whole family where there ministering to the Indonesian people. I dreamt that God was preparing me for something more. Why was I at Bible College? To become a chaplain? Or something beyond that?

It scared the pants off me! Again, if you know me, those dreams wouldn't have even entered my mind 3 months ago! Where have they come from? Where has this burning in my heart come from? Immediately when I saw the visions of myself working amongst the people in Indonesia, I dismissed the idea! I said, “No way God, you are not sending me there to do that! You know me, I wouldn't cope! I cant do it, I’m not strong enough!”

I felt like God was saying that the future is different. That I will be changed. That I will step out. That He will be there every step.

At the moment, these are just dreams. Just glimpses God has given me of what He might have in store for me. Chaplaincy and teaching are still on my heart – they are my passion. I know that I need to be open to Gods leading and allow Him to direct my paths. I need to trust Him fully, and boy that is a hard thing to do!

Phew, okay so apart from church today, we all ventured to the Home and Garden expo at the waterfront this afternoon. Was lovely to walk around in the sunshine and Bella even went into the petting zoo and had up close and personal encounters with goats, ducks, chickens, pigs, dogs, horses and sheep! She loved it!

So there you have it, a beautiful Sunday. And even more special is that Abraham has tomorrow off! Some special friends are coming over for a visit tomorrow too :)

One step, two step….

The above words are from Bellas favourite song at the moment – Open shut them. But now, they mean more than that!

Yes – she walked! Finally! After 17 months, she has decided that it is okay to walk!

She is still very unsteady and reluctant to even walk, but when she does, she seems so proud of herself!

We were at the youth pastors house for dinner and they had an exercise ball. Bella was immediately fascinated and began rolling it around the room. In the end, she rolled it and then followed it – walking!!

We were so thrilled! She had taken more than one step and didn't sit down! She just kept going, right across the room!

So today, I went and bought an exercise ball because she wont walk without it! We tried this morning, but she wouldn't have a bar of it! Maybe with a little practise with the exercise ball, she will become more confident to go out and walk everywhere!

A resident or a visitor?

Okay, so I heard something interesting in church this morning.

The pastor was talking about whether Jesus was a resident or visitor in our life.

It got me thinking about my life. Do I cry out and pray to God only when I need him and things aren't going right? Do I bring out my lamp, rub it and expect the genie "Jesus" to pop out and grant all my wishes/prayers?

Honestly, my answer is yes. It never used to be that way, but lately, I find myself starting my prayers with "Lord, I'm sorry I only come to you when I need help but...."

So is God a visitor, or a resident in your life? I know I want Him to be a resident, a permanent dweller, but at the moment, I feel as if he is just a regular visitor.